


OhGender You Are A Bitch!

by Slackersunite



Series: Sweet Dreams are Made of These [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Character, Graphic Language, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:58:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slackersunite/pseuds/Slackersunite
Summary: Wade's dresses aren't just dresses.





	OhGender You Are A Bitch!

**Author's Note:**

> This is all angst and dysphoria. There is going to be misgendering, slurs, and depression and anxiety. If these things make you uncomfortable, please do not read this. If you really want to know what happens just comment, and I'll summarize everything.

Wade came home slamming the door shut, and dropping all of his belongings on the floor. He rushed to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror he slowly pulled his hood off. He looked at himself in disgust, his scared eyes piercing and welling with tears. 

He roughly pulled out the cabinet under the sink and rummaged through it for the small tube of lipstick that he had stolen from some girl on the street. He unsheathed the rich red pink color and on the mirror he drew the word "He" all around so that it framed his face. And then afterwards biting his lip he added an S in front of each one. "She" he breathed out, "dammit!" he cursed as he slammed the cupboard closed. Wade hated himself, and he was full of contempt and self-pity. He hated himself, he hated his body. The scars were only skin deep, but the real flaws were somewhere deep inside him, it was in his DNA, it was in his chromosomes and he didn't know how to fix it. He knew he couldn't. He knew this feeling of dread would go away next week, and then it would come back again just to slam back into him after he had convinced himself that he was okay. 

Wade sunk to floor and sobbed, pulling his knees in and digging his fingernails into his bald scalp. "You're okay. You're okay. It'll be okay," he whispered between broken sobs. This had happened before, he knew it would happen again. He couldn't tell anyone, no one else understood. Someone had to tell him he was going to be okay, and that job fell on himself. He layed down on the cold bathroom tiles. "GOd it wasn't enough that you made me ugly, you had to make me wrong!" 

"Maybe it's not me, yeah, maybe society is fucked with all it's gender roles and stereotypes and expectactions. WELL SHIT! You made me self aware too, goddammit."

"I know I'm not broken, but I feel like I am, and I think that's even worse." 

Wade moved his hands from his neck down his chest, feeling the flatness there and hating himself. He moved down even more and hated what he felt between his legs. It was all wrong. He got up moving back to the mirror and taking off his shirt, baring his teeth at the perfect image of masculinity. All muscles and hard flat chest. Where was the woman that he felt inside? 

He took the tube of lipstick and over his heart he drew the circle and protruding from it the plus sign he lacked. He left the bathroom and went to the closet where inside a small bin filled to the brim with random guns and ammo was hidden a dress. He had made it himself, he couldn't go out and buy one, but he had made a dress for himself from the unsalvagable pieces of his burnt torn Deadpool costumes. He nimbly took it out, smiling at it, at the feminine shape. He went back to the bathroom and put it on. It hugged him just right, if he turned just right he could convince himself that he was a girl, and that everything was okay. He put on the lipstick, and he used some eyeliner he had found to trace his eyes, and draw some eyebrows. He made himself look as pretty as he could. Looking at himself in the dress, with feminity written all over him he was content for just a second.  _She_ was content for just a second. "Hello world, my name is Wanda and I am genderfluid. It's tough, but you gotta stick it out kids. This one's for you, I did this all for you. I know I have a story to tell, and this is it. This is your story too. You are not alone." 

Wanda smiled at herself, this was her game. Pretending that one day the world was safer and she could come out to everyone, and walk the streets safely, and that her message would reach children all around the world, so that they wouldn't cry themselves to sleep, so that they wouldn't hate themselves like she did sometimes. 

She started twirling around in the homemade dress, stuck in a moment of euphoria, happy with herself for a moment when the front door opened. Wanda quickly slammed the bathroom door shut and tried desperately to rub the makeup off. Peter wasn't supposed to be home yet. She didn't have any lotion or makeup remover, and water just wasn't sufficient. She rubbed desperately, and the knock on the door came too fast.

"Wade? Are you okay?" 

"Mhm yeah baby boy! I'll be just a second. Just give me a second." Wanda's voice was desperate and breathless. Anxiety ripped through her, and her heart wouldn't stop beating. It was drowning everything out. She was cringing at Peter's use of the name Wade. She knew it wasn't his fault, he couldn't know. He would never know. But the damn makeup wouldn't come off and before she knew it she was bleeding having scratched too hard at her face. She fell down loudly shocked at the desperate look she saw in the mirror. A man in women's clothing, bleeding. What a sight, it was a nightmare. 

Peter opened the door, and anxiety tore through Wanda this time it was ruthless. "NO Peter, no. Go away! Stop." 

The man standing looking at the sight of his Wade in a dress with makeup on, and bleeding. He didn't understand. "Wade what the hell are you doing?" 

"Peter, no. Just go away," Wanda started to cry shielding her face the best she could, curling into herself. She couldn't bare to look at the disgust in Peter's face. This is what everyone thought, this was what the world saw. Where she saw herself, they saw something disgusting. 

"No way Wade. You can't be. I should've known you were a tranny freak! YOU ARE DISGUSTING! YOU NEED THERAPY!" 

~

Wade opened his eyes and frowned. He felt the emptiness consume him. A tear slid down his face, and he didn't feel like wiping it away. He knew this wasn't just a dream, he knew his subconscious better than most. This seemed more like a bad memory than a dream. A real nightmare, it wasn't too far from reality. He sat there for what seemed like forever staring at the cieling, with soft tears falling down his face, making the pillow wet. 

The door from the bathroom opened and cast dull yellow light across the room. Peter saw the light reflect off of Wade's open eyes. "Wade? Are you okay?" 

He didn't answer, and Peter was so scared and he rushed over. "Wade? What's wrong baby?" 

Peter wiped away Wade's tears and kissed his scarred cheek, "Please talk to me, please baby. Tell me what's wrong." 

Wade made eye contact with Peter, communicating a pain that words couldn't properly describe. "I had a nightmare." 

Peter kissed Wade softly on the lips and got him a glass of water before coming into bed and pulling Wade closer to him. "Wanna talk about it?"

Wade rubbed his face into Peter's chest, "It- you... I- it was about gender i guess." 

Peter looked down at Wade, and realized what exactly Wade had dreamed about. "Oh god Wade shh. It's okay. What did I do in the nightmare? You can tell me."

Wade sniffled, "You were transphobic, and I was genderfluid and I wasn't out to you because you were transphobic. And it was just all wrong, and it was so bad. And it felt real until you showed up and started saying those things, up till then it felt real baby boy. All the feelings they were real, I only knew it was a dream when you showed up and said those things." Wade sat up looking at Peter in shock, he knew that his Peter would never have said any of those things, never would have even thought any of those things.

Peter scrunched his nose, "That's disgusting, you should've punched me. I'll punch me! So tell me my lovely lovely significant other, what are your preferred pronouns?" Peter asked sweetly kissing Wade on the forehead. Wade sighed and hugged Peter. "She/her tonight baby boy. She/her." 

Peter smiled at the person in his arms, "Okay, now walk me through it. You want me to call you Wanda?" 

 

Wade smiled, "No, I like Wade. But she/her."

Peter nodded, "Okay Wade, my beautiful girlfriend. I love you. Every part of you."

Wade frowned remembering the dream, "You like my dresses?" 

Peter kissed Wade's forehead, "Of course Wade, I love your dresses. They're part of you, I get that." 

Wade caught Peter's lips, "Thank you," she whispered as they layed down and fell asleep between lazy kisses. 

~

"Hey Wade?"

"Mhm baby boy."

"I love you, okay? Don't ever doubt that."

"I know baby, I love you too."

"You can always talk to me Wade, you know that right?"

"Yeah I know, you're the best."

"I'm human Wade. I love you, and you don't ever have to say thank you. "

"Aw baby boy, you're making my heart do funny things. I said thank you because you're one of the few people who understands." 

"I love you so much Wade."

"I love you too Petey." 


End file.
